Well it happened, after a bunch of talk and planning and hype we find ourselves living in the land of illusions, Los Angeles.  We arrived at 8:00 pm on May 1st, Sergey and myself, one boyfriend, one amazingly helpful saint of a  friend, a tired dachshund, a U-Haul, and two Prius’s (Prii? Whatever you call them, there are two of them and neither are mine.) It’s quite an equation, but in the end it equalled what it set out to, we are here!

I’ve struggled with what to tell you in the first article now that we call L.A. home.  Do I lie and tell you it has been easy? Do I lie and tell you it is the worst thing ever? It’s neither, it’s what any great L.A. story should be, it’s gritty and unique, filled with characters of all kinds, and starring an astoundingly handsome bear with a great smile. It is preferable if that bear star is named Jonathan… Shuffield… yes me bitch! I guess what I will tell you today, are some things I’ve learned in the three short weeks we have been in this town.

One: Don’t judge your new home on the process of the journey there.  If you follow me at all you know that if it is going to happen it is going to happen to me.  On the very first day of the trip I broke my phone, I had no way to stay in contact with friends or family or my boyfriend at the time.  I then followed that up as if I was in a contest to one-up myself and I lost my bank card.  Four of us and a dog had to exist in a hotel room for two days as we waited for the city to turn on the lights to our new apartment.  Did I mention I started my new day job the morning after we pulled into town, my Lyft driver never showed so my saintly friend had to brave traffic as we stole Sergey’s car and got me to work? To top it off, that boyfriend I mentioned, well we broke up.  

Two: Always hold in. It was all enough to send a lesser bear for the hills.  The pressure was more than any friendship should be able to take.  Sergey and I are like family, well we ARE family.  We are connected on a level that few can understand, it is a gift and it is a challenge.  It means that we feel every nuance and notice the subtleties, it means when our friend hurts we feel it and when they are stressed it affects us. We are like some strange set of twins, born twenty years apart to two different mothers from two different countries… it’s very sci-fi I know.  We are so Netflix trendy!  When you are both going through shit, there’s just not much you can do for the other.  Hold in there, family will find its way through.  

Three: Don’t get so buried in the dark that you miss the pinpoints of light.  What you don’t know,is my friend of 20  years gave up her birthday to help us move.  She took care of me when she knew I was close to breaking, she walked my dog and made sure he was always safe while I worked.  What you don’t know is that morning I was late for my first day of work, I was met at the office door by my new boss who asked if I could use a hug… and I could.  What you don’t know is that the boyfriend I had, helped me more than I could ever say to get to L.A. because he believed in me. When we broke up we did it with great love and respect for each other, we did it BECAUSE we loved each other and knew what the other needed in this time.  What you don’t know is that the apartment we waited for has views of the Hollywood sign from our bedrooms reminding us to dream. It feels more like home than I have felt in a while.  What you don’t know is that Sergey and I are two different people who go through shit but refuse to give up on the other.  When you find your family, you find a way to keep them.  

Finally, what you don’t know is that in just three short weeks this city has made me prove to myself that I got this.  The hills and endless bus rides can lead to beaches and friendships and dreams.  The rough patches remind you why you care about each other and why the hell you want your dreams so badly.  It’s true what they say, L.A. will make you prove every second that you have a right to what you dream.  It breaks many, but what L.A. doesn’t know is who I am. It hasn’t met me yet.  When L.A. whispers in my ear that I cannot withstand the storm, what L.A. doesn’t know is that I am the storm!

P.S.  Wait til I tell you stories about bus drivers, beautiful men, creative homeless people, and a hot mess of a bear like me discovering this city as only I can!  Oh the stories I have!